November 28
Through suffering, man learns. In chains I bear the torment — but the will that gave fire to mankind no chain can bend.
Prometheus Bound (freely rendered)
Listening mode
Through suffering, man learns. In chains I bear the torment — but the will that gave fire to mankind no chain can bend.
When you pay a price for a decision, the lesson is often already waiting. Others have put it into words, sometimes quite kindly: next time you'll be wiser. The price is meant to teach you, and you notice how convenient it would be to agree with it. Then the whole thing would at least have had a point.
But what you actually learn need not be the intended lesson. Perhaps only now do you find out how much the thing meant to you, precisely because it is costing you something. Perhaps, too, that you would go about it differently today, without regretting it for that reason. Both are hard to explain while the consequences still hurt. Anyone who wants to see you changed will easily mistake your calm for defiance.
Sometimes it is defiance. From the inside, the two are hard to tell apart. One clue is the direction of your gaze: is it turned towards those you refuse to give in to, or towards what you chose back then?
On some days you don't know for sure. Then you simply go on paying.
