August 28
It is not the one who talks a great deal about virtue who is good, but the one who masters himself where others let themselves go. Self-control is the foundation — without it, all knowledge is of no use.
Memorabilia (freely rendered)
Listening mode
It is not the one who talks a great deal about virtue who is good, but the one who masters himself where others let themselves go. Self-control is the foundation — without it, all knowledge is of no use.
What you'd better not say in an argument, you usually already know while you're saying it. Your knowledge isn't switched off. It just runs alongside, like a commentary that prevents nothing.
That's why it does little good to work out sound principles for yourself in quiet hours. They're right, after all. The difficulty comes in the brief moment when your anger has already found a sentence. Then no further thought counts, only a gap: one breath in which you can still hold the sentence back.
If you manage it, seemingly nothing happens. The conversation goes on, and no one learns what almost got said. The temptation then lies elsewhere. You might start crediting yourself with the unsaid sentences and quietly comparing yourself with those who said theirs out loud. That is how restraint easily turns into a small store of superiority.
And sometimes the sentence you held back was the only honest one that evening. Which one it was, you often notice only when the conversation has long since moved elsewhere.
