June 17
Whoever gives himself wholly finds loss transformed into a veiled gift; and what came as pain departs as blessing.
Spiritual Songs (freely rendered)
Listening mode
Whoever gives himself wholly finds loss transformed into a veiled gift; and what came as pain departs as blessing.
Some of the good things in your life you would not have without a loss. A friendship that began in a hard time, a patience you had not known before, a place you moved to only because something else came to an end. When you talk about it, it can easily sound as if the whole thing was worth it.
And yet you probably wouldn't make the trade again. The good is real, and still you would feel uncomfortable if someone added it up for you as compensation. It does not cancel the loss. It simply grew during the same time.
It gets difficult when you want to rely on something like that happening again. A pain you endure only because you promise yourself its later yield stays half warded off. You stand a little to one side of yourself, waiting for the compensation. Whatever actually changes probably comes about more in the hours when you are not bargaining but simply sad, without wanting to make anything of it yet.
Perhaps years later you notice that you listen differently when someone talks about a farewell. You didn't want that at the time.
