April 28

After a hard time, you may be asked how you got through it. The honest answer is often unspectacular. You got up, dealt with phone calls, and on some days got hardly anything done. It seldom felt like bravery.

Still, the question carries an idea that can flatter you: that hardship merely made visible what was in you all along. Then you would be the same person as before, only now confirmed.

But a test that changes you does not simply measure. Perhaps you have become more patient, perhaps also more mistrustful, quicker to tire, more cautious with plans. Some of this you would gladly count as strength; the rest you would rather keep quiet about. Both come from the same time.

And what would the test actually have shown if, at some point, you had given way? A bad day back then would not have been a verdict on you. Nor, quite, is a good one today.

The next time someone asks, perhaps you will only say that things simply had to go on. That is true, and it is not all.