March 27
Worse than suffering injustice is doing it. For the wound of the one who suffers strikes the body — that of the one who does it strikes the soul.
Gorgias (freely rendered)
Listening mode
Worse than suffering injustice is doing it. For the wound of the one who suffers strikes the body — that of the one who does it strikes the soul.
When you have wronged someone without admitting it to yourself, often the first thing to change is not your picture of yourself but your picture of him. His way of talking suddenly strikes you as long-winded. You remember earlier occasions when he was inattentive too. Little by little a person takes shape for whom your behaviour would almost have been fitting.
This rarely happens on purpose. It is more a quiet bookkeeping that makes sure nothing is left outstanding in the end. The other may be hurt, but at least he can hold on to what happened. You, on the other hand, have to touch up the story, and with each correction it gets harder to meet him at ease.
An apology would then be owed not only to him. It would also take back the reasons you have collected in the meantime, and some of them are not even wrong. He really is long-winded sometimes.
Only, you never used to need that in order to like him.
