January 7
Most of what we say and do is not necessary. Whoever leaves it out has more calm and less trouble. So ask yourself of every thing: Does this belong to what is necessary? — and leave out not only unnecessary actions but also unnecessary thoughts: then no superfluous deeds will follow them either.
Meditations IV.24
Listening mode
Most of what we say and do is not necessary. Whoever leaves it out has more calm and less trouble. So ask yourself of every thing: Does this belong to what is necessary? — and leave out not only unnecessary actions but also unnecessary thoughts: then no superfluous deeds will follow them either.
Before a conversation you sometimes prepare answers to objections no one has raised yet. You can already hear the other person saying you let them know too late, and you come up with a good reply. Then a better one.
In the conversation itself, the objection doesn't come. The reply is there anyway. It colours your tone and makes your sentences a little longer and more careful than the situation calls for. Perhaps you even bring up the delay yourself, just to explain it. And so a reproach that no one voiced has made its way into the room after all.
Leaving things out is harder here than it sounds. An action you can refrain from. A thought, on the other hand, has usually already formed before you could check whether you need it. And you don't much like going in entirely unprepared either; sometimes the objection really does come.
Sometimes you notice it mid-sentence: you are answering someone who isn't even speaking. The person across from you has just asked something quite different and is still waiting for an answer to that.
